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Rain or Shine: Be there for your partner

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When your partner is diagnosed with cancer, it can feel like your world has been turned upside down. You might experience a whirlwind of emotions, including shock, grief, anger, and anxiety. These feelings are natural, and both you and your partner will likely find your own ways to cope with them. Even if you approach the situation differently, it’s important to try to understand and support each other.

 

Open communication is crucial. While you might feel the urge to shield your partner from your fears, being honest about your emotions can create a safe space for your partner to share theirs as well. This transparency can help you understand each other better and strengthen your bond during this challenging time.

 

Here are some practical ways to support your partner:

 

  •  Talk about your feelings: Discuss what’s important to both of you. Some people find it easier to talk while engaging in another activity, like walking.

  • Acknowledge difficult emotions: Recognize that both of you may experience a range of challenging emotions, and that’s okay.

  • Make time for each other: Engage in activities you both enjoy and take moments to talk about things other than cancer.

  • Cope as a team: Whether it’s through laughter, tears, or simply being present, find ways to release tension together.

  • Accept help: Don’t hesitate to lean on friends and family for support.

  • Maintain routines: Sticking to a regular routine can help life feel more stable and normal.

  • Changes in Your Relationship: Cancer can bring changes to your relationship over time. The added stress of illness can alter your lives and future plans. You may face new challenges like:

  • Navigating difficult emotions: Both you and your partner may struggle with feelings of fear, sadness, or frustration.

  • Shifting roles: You might have to take on responsibilities your partner once handled, such as managing finances or doing housework.

  • Making decisions: From treatment options to what to tell others, decision-making can become more complex.

  • Addressing intimacy concerns: Illness can affect physical closeness, which may require open communication and patience.

  • Dealing with financial worries: Changes in work or income can add to the stress.

 

Your partner might act differently due to stress, pain, or fatigue, which could lead to more arguments. However, some couples find that their love deepens and their relationship strengthens through adversity. It’s important to remember that not all relationships will become stronger, and cancer can sometimes magnify existing problems. If you’re struggling, organizations like Relate or Relationships Scotland can provide support.

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